No two people have identical mourning periods and “moving on” is subject to personal definitions. The truth is, you never really move on, and the grieving process can take a lifetime. There are good moments and there are difficult moments, but for most of us, there will always be moments.

Elliot a middle-aged man who lost his father more than 17 years ago knew he would think about his father at important times in her life, like the birth of his son. However, he had no idea that he would think about his father every single day. His memories of his father are sometimes very brief. At other times they are long, detailed and emotional. Yet, Elliot is thankful for each and every memory and it upsets him that there are times when outsiders think enough time has passed for him to "be over it."

Those who have suffered a deeply personal loss knows how Elliot feels. He does not want to wally in self-pity nor get special attention from others. The process of grieving and healing takes time and emotional space. Even seventeen years later, quiet understanding, not criticism is what helps gets us through those moments - that and our memories

Memories
Memories is a poem/song for those left behind.

Last night I had a dream of you and I
as we talked and laughed by candlelight
You looked so happy
I could feel your happiness, too
You said you wanted to ease my mind
and let me know you were doing just fine
I couldn’t help but smile
seeing you had brought back a lifetime
Then I awoke to find it was all a dream
because you’ll never, ever return back to me

I feel lost, like I’m falling
I keep calling out your name
No one answers
I know that you’re really gone,
Tomorrow I’ll have to carry on…without you
But tonight I know exactly what I need
and that’s to close the door and wrap myself in memories

Sometimes I think about the past
How you made me smile, cry and how you made me laugh
A picture can’t take your place
I miss the warmth in your eyes when I see your face
I know I have to make it through, but even as I go on I’ll never “unlose” you
Time can’t begin to erase
the hurt or wishing for your warm embrace
I know, I know, I know I’m wishing for a dream
That will never, ever be reality

I feel lost, like I’m falling
I keep calling out your name
No one answers
I know that you’re really gone,
Tomorrow I’ll have to carry on…without you
But tonight I know exactly what I need
and that’s to close the door and wrap myself in memories
In all of my memories
Know that I love you
And I miss you
But I’ll see you again….so until next time…